Holiday Weekend

It's been a few days since I have posted anything. We've actually been a little busy. Sunday the Husband and I talked a little and he did end up going to the parade with S and me. S got scared of the marching band so I gave her part of a Tootsie Roll and what do ya know? She gagged on it and threw up. all. over. me. No lie. All. Over. Me. We watched 20 minutes of the parade and then had to leave so S and I could go home and shower! Anyways... after we got all cleaned up we went out to the cabin. That was nice. Except all the mosquitoes! They were horrible. So we spent a majority of the night on the pontoon. Husband and I got along. For the most part. We brought S's pack n play but of course she wouldn't sleep in it.

Monday I went to BP and got my tattoo touched up by Katie while Husband and S took a nap. When I got home we just hung out for a while and ended up at bil's house for a fire and a few drinks later in the night. Nope, we didn't go to fire works. We wanted to just stick close to home for the night.

Husband and I have been getting along pretty well since Monday. Hopefully things continue this way. If not, I will cry! Like always. I guess there isn't much else to report tonight, just wanted to give a little update on the weekend.

Oh yeah, went to the doctor on Tuesday. Was told I'm having minor surgery next Thursday to have the core of a sore removed in my arm. It's about damn time the do something about this. It's only been a problem for 10 years!!! So yeah next week might not have many updates! Sorry.

~Kristin

Tired.

I'm tired. Tired of doing everything alone. Tired of raising my (our?) daughter alone. Tired of being alone. Tired of going places alone. Tired of doing everything around the house alone.

Why?

Because my husband is bi-polar. My husband is bi-polar and sleeps all day long and is awake all night. He doesn't wake up to spend time with S or me. He sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and goes to work. When he's not at work he is sleeping. Hmmm and he wonders why I'm being a bitch to him. I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated. I'm so alone. I need a weekend away. Far, far away. Is that possible? Probably not. So for now I guess S and I will go to the parade tonight and attempt to have fun. Alone.

~Kristin

18 Month Check-Up and ER Visit

Well, S had her 18 month check-up on Monday. She had been running a fever since Sunday night so she didn't get her shots. The Dr thought the fever was from teething or a virus. S is growing like she should, and doing all the things she should be doing so the Dr was very pleased!

On Tuesday S still had a fever and hadn't been drinking or peeing very much. I took her into Urgent Care to have her checked out again. No ear infection. No strep. Hmmm. So Dr in UC said to give her anti-nausea pills and wait 2 hours, if she doesn't drink or pee in 2 hours take her to the ER for fluids if she needs them. 2 hours later we were sitting in the ER. They took blood, got a urine sample with a catheter that she HATED, and strapped her into this crazy machine to take chest x-rays. We waited around the ER for 2.5 hours and found out S has a UTI. Poor baby girl :( Got her on some good anti-biotics and today she is already doing better! She has been drinking and peeing and has actually been happy and playing! Yay!

Husband is doing well also. He decided to start taking his Wellbutrin that the Dr prescribed him a couple weeks ago and it seems like its helping. He was in a pretty good mood today! The city people came by the house today to dig up our front yard to find our main water shut off. I now have a 4 foot hole in my front yard...yay! Hopefully no one falls in it. Ha!

~Kristin

Good Weekend

I've had a pretty good weekend. Yesterday my little sisters turned 7 so we had a party for them. They got a lot of presents and we all had a great time. S spent the weekend at Grandma and Papa's house. She had a blast! Lawn mower rides, pontoon rides, fishing, playing in the playhouse and chasing around the big girls. Oh and learning to go DOWN the steps on her own. Ugh she is going to give me a heart attack! She's growing up way too fast!

Husband had to work last night. I texted him a couple times and he actually texted me back! It wasn't a very long conversation but it was something. On my way home I got pulled over because my tail light was out. He just told me to get it fixed. Husband woke me up this morning around 4am while he was banging around in the kitchen. I got up and went to the bathroom and got a drink and asked Husband to fix my tail light before he comes to bed so I didn't get pulled over again. He did. He also left me a note telling me to not wake him to go to his parents house to get S in the morning. So I didn't. He also wants me to call the clinic for him tomorrow and try to get his appointment scheduled sooner. Not gonna happen. I left him the phone numbers to call, if he wants it changed he can do it himself. I need to stop enabling him and do things for myself now.

So this morning I got up and went to get S. Then we went to Owatonna and had Chinese for lunch with Megan and RaShia and then went grocery shopping. S is sleeping now then we will head outside since it is gorgeous out! That's all for now!

~Kristin

My Day Off

Today is going to be a fabulous day! I have the day off. In case anyone is wondering, I run a daycare in my home and it just so happens I don't have any kids today! Woo Hoo!!!! S just had a bath and is taking her morning nap. I'm doing a little blogging then going to shower. When S wakes up we'll have lunch then head to Owatonna. I'm having Katie touch up my tattoo at 1pm and then Megan, S, R, and Mary are going shopping in Medford! Old Navy is having a pre-sale of their tank tops for $2! How can you beat that! Especially with a limit of 10. Ha! I LOVE Old Navy's tank tops! After shopping we might take the girls to a park and play for awhile and then we'll see what the night brings.

The Husband has to work tonight so it will just be me and S. Grandpa called yesterday and wants S to spend the night with the rest of the girls tomorrow night and maybe tonight too. That will be fun for her! Well I'm off to get ready for the day!

~Kristin

Another Missed Appointment

So I reminded the Husband yesterday that he had a dentist appointment today at 1pm. Well It is now almost 3pm and he is still in bed sleeping. This ALWAYS happens. If I don't wake him for appointments he misses them. I'm not his mommy. I'm his wife. He is capable of setting an alarm clock and getting up and going to appointments on his own. Why doesn't he get this? I don't know, but I will not allow him to depend on me for the things he is capable of doing on his own anymore. This is just one of the many things I will be working on not doing for him. Although, when the dentist office called wondering where he was I did reschedule the appointment for him. And I will write it on the calendar and tell him about it. I will not, however, be waking him up to make sure he gets there, or anywhere else for that matter, on time.

On a good note, I have tonight off work. S and I will find something fun to do hopefully and maybe get outta the house for a while since its been rainy and nasty here all week. Husband gets paid tomorrow so bills will also be paid! Yay! It feels good to get bills paid on time. Yeah, we might be a little short on cash next week but we will survive! That's all I have for now, shopping in Medford tomorrow with friends, my twin sisters' 7th bday party on Saturday night. Should be a good weekend!

~Kristin

Using again?

I'm starting to think the Husband is using pot again. All of a sudden he's eating chips and salsa at 3am when he gets home from work. And this morning he got up at 8:30, had a bowl of cereal and went back to bed. These are things he did was he was using. Do I know for sure if he is doing this? Nope. Am I OK with not knowing? Nope. I hate not being in control of my thoughts. I hate always thinking my Husband is mad at me or lying to me. How do I get away from this kind of thinking? I have no idea but I found some books online that might help me find the answer. So I'm off to the bookstore to *hopefully* find a couple books to start reading to help me through this rough time.

*Update
I bought the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I have read the first 4 chapters and already know this book is really going to help me. Earlier in the day I text the husband and asked if he was mad at me since he still hasn't spoken to me since Sunday night. His response was "this is not the time, nor the place to describe how I feel..." I responded "Can you at least tell me what's going on, I'm worried about you." His response "Nope...I need r help telling the Drs what I'm like without the correct meds...Hold on for the ride! I love u!" My response " So you would rather put me through hell than talk to me and tell me what's going on?" His response "Yep, this is all about u...Yak..." My response "I never said this was all about me but damn don't you care about how I'm feeling at all? I care about how you're feeling and I want to help where I can but if you don't talk to me how am I supposed to know how to help you?" His response: NOTHING. There ya have it folks. He obviously doesn't want my help bad enough to want to talk to me. Well that's all for tonight. I need to get some sleep since I will be getting up with S at 6:30 am.

~Kristin